Before watching I Hate Luv Storys I was a Bollywood virgin. I was aware of some of its conventions – its vibrancy, its musicality, the way it revels in artifice – but beyond that I was painfully naïve. So, armed with my postage-stamp sized amount of knowledge of Hindi cinema, I set about popping my Bollywood cherry. Sadly, like so many hungover 16 year olds, I find myself instantly regretting this awkward first encounter. Bloated, dull and repetitive, I Hate Luv Storys has nothing to offer beyond reheated romantic clichés from Hollywood and Bollywood alike.

“Abandon all hope ye who enter here”. Such reads the sign that confronts Queen Lillian and King Harold as they approach the unfriendly terrain of Rumpelstiltskin’s land in the opening scene of Shrek Forever After. 93 minutes later and you are left wondering who the words were really directed at. Beneath the fireworks of what has been celebrated as the the final chapter of a universally adored franchise lies an apology for an exit that is more dogged than triumphant.

Enter Up in the Air, the latest romance-comedy-drama from Juno director Jason Reitman, and starring perhaps the most universally idolised and desired movie star of our generation, George ‘Smooth As Silk’ Clooney. The prospect of such a dream team was always going to be a hotly anticipated one, and we’re pleased to report that this is one of those few wondrous instances of a film living up to its press.

Clash of the Titans is a remake of the 1981 classic of the same name, and tells the tale of the legendary Greek hero Perseus. Perseus (Sam Worthington) is the son of Zeus, but he’s been living the life of a fisherman down on Earth, unaware of his divine heritage. Perseus’ adopted family are killed by the evil god Hades and he vows revenge. Hades tells the King of Argos that unless he sacrifices his daughter Andromache to the gods, the Kraken will destroy the city, so Perseus and a rag-tag bunch of misfits set off on a quest to find three legendary witches who can tell them how to defeat the monster.

Recession? What recession? In the UK 3D films How To Train Your Dragon and Clash Of The Titans have smashed box office takings, making the Easter weekend the second most lucrative in the past 12 months.

An undeniably bleak snapshot of adolescence in ‘Broken Britain’, the critically acclaimed and BAFTA award-winning Fish Tank is a thoroughly captivating experience from start to finish. Centred upon the character of Mia Williams, Fish Tank offers much more than the usual gritty portrayal of teenage life in urban Britain.

Alright, alright, we get it, Burton‘s Alice In Wonderland is so frikking exciting that we’re basically all just sat weeing ourselves around the clock in preparation. As we speak, cinema..

Catholic schools. Priests. Sexual abuse allegations. Does this equal a film we’d want to see? Probably not. At best, it would be dull, at worst quite disturbing. Nevertheless, given the Oscar hype surrounding this adaptation of John Patrick Shanley’s play last year, we decided it couldn’t be that bad. In fact, this 1960’s-set drama centring around a nun’s mission to prove a progressive priest guilty of sexual abuse of a student turned out to be quite a unique and thought-provoking film experience.

We’re pleased to report that Up in the Air lives up to its press. This romance-comedy-drama from Juno director Jason Reitman is intelligent, soulful, keeps you laughing, keeps you guessing, and leaves you with that lump-in-your-throat feeling that you’ve experienced a truly lovely moment in cinema. Clooney’s emotionally detached jetsetter is perfectly (and surprisingly) matched by Twilight newcomer Anna Kendrick, and Reitman’s narrative expertly weaves witty comedy into beautiful moments of poignancy. If you only see one film this month, make it this one.

K. Selvaraghavan is Tamil cinema’s answer to James Cameron. His action-packed epic Aayirathil Oruvan (in English, ‘One Man in One Thousand’) generated a similar buzz to Avatar prior to release in its home country of India, and now after a record-breaking international rights deal, the film has landed in the UK. The over-the-top goings-on can be a bit exhausting, but visually, the film holds its own against any Hollywood adventure epic.