The Beaver, directed by Jodie Foster and starring Mel “WHOOPS” Gibson, is a strange little film, as two-faced as its depressed protagonist. Lurching oddly between po-faced dark comedy and lets-hug-it-out family fare, it ends up being a rather patchwork tale that’s never quite as touching or as funny as it should be. But, on the bright side, who knew Gibson could do such a great Ray Winstone impression?

Fresh from winning all four acting prizes at this year’s Japanese Academy Awards, Lee Sang-il’s masterful adaptation of the cult novel by Shuichi Yoshida is an extraordinary achievement which combines pitch-perfect performances with a profound and unsettling message. You know the overused expression ‘must-see’? That.

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake put aside their break-up and endured their fair share of on-set awkwardness to film Bad Teacher together. Sadly, like their previous collaboration on Shrek 3, it probably wasn’t worth it.

So many actresses… and you chose Keira Knightley.

Should that be ‘dwarf down’?

Not even Shia LaBeouf, and he cares about Megan Fox’s arse LOADS.

THE KINGDOM TV Series 1-2 is a compelling surreal drama by Lars Von Trier, with demons taking an interest in a vast Danish hospital. Quite unmissable (especially for fans of Twin Peaks) and now available in a Collector’s DVD Box Set.

What do you get if you cross a short story from the 17th century, that girl from Babylon AD, and every camera-friendly horse in France? The correct answer could either be ‘The Princess of Montpensier‘, ‘139 minutes you’ll never get back’ or, if you’re actually quite into horses, ‘the best thing ever’. We’re not that into horses, tbh.

Yeah… we’re not convinced.

Almodovar is a right minx.