What a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a wonderful man… du du du duhhh…

Let’s hear it for lesbian kisses, swearing children, hangnail ripping and other good clean fun.

All aboard…

Which one is this again?

Spider is a creepy-crawly urban tale from the talented director/stuntman Nash Edgerton (Star Wars, Matrix) who helped found the Oz film collective that brought you Animal Kingdom. Watch 9 minutes of needles, spiders and childish behaviour from grown-ups now…

First R-Patz, now this. Dammit, Stephenie Meyer, leave our actors alone!

Seriously.

Phew, now we really know what’s going on… Right?

I guess that’s what happens when you use Diesel instead of petrol…

Hey, you! Yeah, you! You look like the sort of guy who knows less than he should about Australian actors. Specifically, 43-year-old Australian actors who have starred in films ranging from drag queen comedies to period dramas via cannibal war flicks. Actors like Guy Pearce, in fact. Get yo’ass in here, boy, you’ve got a lot to learn…