You can’t choose your family, but at least you can choose your friends, right? Guillaume Canet attempts to vocalise the complicated emotion-bank that is friendship by presenting two weeks of holidaying bessie mates, none of whom are Zach Galifianakis or Seth Rogan. Character substance over impromptu-tattooing? What brave new world is this…

I WANNA ROCK!

Blu (Jesse Eisenberg) is a blue macaw, who lives in domesticated bliss in Minnesota with his owner Linda, until they are paid a visit by ornithologist Tulio, who tells them..

We’re always happy to check out a film short featuring not only a mermaid but a stunt mermaid, and not only a Keith but a Keith from The Office. We interview the twisty creators of Fish! (one of them was in Doctor Who you know) before they go and peddle their filmy flesh at Cannes 2011.

Don’t take advantage of our love, Ryan.

We’re so easily placated…

Tim Hetherington, whose documentary Restrepo was nominated for an Academy Award this year, has been killed while covering the conflict in Libya.

Having said tearful goodbyes to our latest band of innocent intern dream-punchers, it’s left to the haggard founders to drag the tattered decorations of ORANGE WEDNESDAYS HURRAH out of storage, and hang them in the now silent corridors of Best For Film towers. It’s never the same, but WE MUST GO ON. Sigh. At least we’ve got Winnie the Pooh, eh?

Pooh Bear, Piglet, Tigger, Eeyore, Owl, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo and Christopher Robin return to the screen for their first canon outing in 34 years; this time they’re on the hunt for Eeyore’s lost tail, whilst trying to rescue Christopher Robin from the terrible Backson and find Tigger a friend to bounce with. And is it really so unreasonable of Pooh to want a little honey to look forward to? Prepare to haemorrhage nostalgia.

It’s safe to say Edward Cullen wouldn’t last five baleful minutes in the vampire-dystopia that is Stake Land. A stylish road-horror with political bite as well as, like, loads of actual bites, you can forgive it its foibles for its refreshingly un-perfumed approach to those pesky bloodsucking types.