The Zefron is a bit of a dark horse these days; after seeming set for lifelong underage vaginal domination around 2006, when that guiltiest of guilty pleasures came out, High School Musical, he just didn’t take off from Disney quite as drastically as anyone expected. There was a time when he would have been anyone’s first bet for the male leads in things like Avatar – instead, he seems perpetually dissatisfied and cannot decide what he wants. We at BFF do like a mysterious one, so let’s have a wee look.

Ice Age 4 hurtles from one boring and entirely unoriginal scenario to another, justifying its glaring historical and chronological inaccuracies, hopeless characters, tedious plot and joyless slapstick by covering them in frozen precipitation. It’s just a rehash of previous Ice Age themes and scenes from other, better films, but told by prehistoric animals that existed millions of years apart. Sure it’s for kids, but a cinema full of children could only muster the occasional half-hearted chuckle and even the sound of Sid regurgitating something into his paw couldn’t mask the sound of artistic integrity quietly dying.

So you’re drunk. You had one too many at Pizza Express or wherever, and now you’re in the cinema, and you are drunk. And you have FEELINGS. About this film. That you are watching. You may or may not swear at the screen, but whatever you say (you don’t remember in the morning) it is loud. You are swiftly removed from the cinema, and never permitted to return. Dark times. Enter Movie Interruption Screenings.

Dull. Dull. HOW DO THEY MAKE ALIEN INVASION MOVIES DULL?

A pretty cool nerd convention. Yes, really.

Sigourney Weaver is back on our screens this week with Red Lights, her third dismal thriller in under a year. But there’s more than guns and Cillian Murphy to the Queen of Sci-Fi, the woman credited with finally bringing gender balance to the Force from Ghostbusters to Avatar. Oh, and did you know she’s part of a club that includes Jamie Foxx, Emma Thompson and Al Pacino? It’s Cheat Sheet o’clock!

Tired of watching your favourite fairytales rehashed on the big screen? With Jack The Giant Killer, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and The Hunchback of Notre Dame all in various stages of production, and a Snow White and the Huntsman sequel already announced, it seems there is no sign of the trend abating just yet. With that in mind, we look back at the best and the worst films that this emerging genre so far has to offer.

Another week rolls to a close, and yet again you haven’t kept up on the constant flood of cinematic nonsense which issues from the mouths of actors, publicists and (most importantly) us. Thank god for our conveniently bite-sized News Round-Up, eh? If only all revision was this much fun.

Oh sure, everybody knows that James Cameron loves going crazy with his special effects. And, sure, everyone knows that he had something to do with Titanic… but what ELSE do you know about tempestuous Captain Jim, eh? Exactly. Prepare for an iceberg of knowledge to sink (and destroy) your preconceptions on one of the most influential men in Hollywood…

Taylor Kitsch bounces around a not-so-distant planet as one of the most ordinarily-named sci-fi heroes ever. It’s a fun film, but it probably would’ve done better on its opening weekend with a more revealing title, like ‘The Martian Messiah,’ or something.