A pentagon scrawled in still-warm blood drips on the wall of an abandoned cathedral; demonic prayers are heard as chilling whispers in the night as the Dark Lord is praised. What we feared has come to pass: The Satan Buddies have returned. Oh, wait a mo…

It seems today that all you see is perpetual repeats of this on BBC Three. Lucky there’s a new DVD box set out then, eh?

Hollywood’s bent for all things cheesy is perhaps best embodied in that most haunting of spectres, the child actor. From their cutesy giggles to their moronic lisps, we count down the five most irritating mugs ever to grace the screen at the tender age of precocious.

We can’t help but notice that Hollywood loves to up the explosion-and-sex factor with Britain’s classic literature. One only needs to look at the bare chest of Robert Downey Jr as the new Sherlock Holmes to see that the silver screen doesn’t mind taking a few liberties. But what other classic-but-uncool tales are Hollywood missing out on? We re-imagine some great British classics the way Spielberg would do ’em…

HMV prepares its private army of security guards and riot-proofs all windows and doors in preparation for the rabid mob intent on getting their slavering, blood-caked hands on a copy of the Brothers and Sisters Season Three box set.

Man on man action, casual racism, fashion frolics, religion bashing and swapping a baby for an iPod. It can only mean one thing – Sacha Baron Cohen. In a second helping of a character unaware of anything socially acceptable, Cohen throws political correctness out of the window and brings us the most vulgar and tasteless movie since Borat – Brüno.

Jack Black and Michael Cera go through the motions in this pre-historic comedy. The touch of producer Judd Apatow is clear to see, but sadly this film lacks the magic of his classics such as The 40 Year Old Virgin or Knocked Up. Instead, we are treated to an hour and a half of poo jokes, Jack Black’s comedy faces and a rambling trip around the bible. We deserve better than this.

Following the success of his 2008 DVD- Michael McIntyre Live and Laughing, this offering is packed with just as much fast paced hilarity. For avid followers of the posh Prince of comedy this DVD will not disappoint, it’s packed with McIntyre’s wonderful observations on life. However, if you’re trying to convert a non-believer we would steer clear and go for something a little more universal.

For those who enjoy a mindless Sunday afternoon spent in front of a predictably happy rom-com, 17 Again is one of the better out there at the moment. Matthew Perry and Zac Efron are their dependably entertaining selves, while I Love You Man’s Thomas Lennon injects some scene-stealing hilarity.

An action packed yet rather fluffy CGI-romp from Dreamworks. Aliens are attacking, and the only ones who can beat them are monsters imprisoned by the government. For the wee ones, the in-jokes, great graphics and cameo appearances will be enough to satisfy, but if you’re looking for something with a bit more heart, we’d recommend the meatier offerings from Disney/Pixar.