In which we get hella nerdy.

Oh yeah, like any other journalist on the planet resisted that title.

The best role model for a girl child is a witch. This is true. Nowhere else in film is so solely the preserve of excellent, kick-ass ladies; no other character trope so thoroughly and utterly dominated by clever, fierce, complicated women who get things done and get them done their way. And they are funny. And they are cool. And they dress well. And they are- some of them- pretty brilliantly evil, proper villains, proper, Halloweeny, haunty villains worth fighting. There’s something to aim for, girl-children, on this Halloween night: be worth fighting. The best role model for a girl child is a witch, and here are five of our favourites.

Always let the Wookiee win, Mike. You know that.

How do you make a demi-god with a lionskin hat boring?

It’s not that we don’t love Austen, alright? It’s not that we don’t know that everyone loves Austen, and not loving Austen is a crime punishable by excommunication, execution and the interminable exhaustion of Being Wrong on the internet. We love Austen too, in a limited but very real sense. But you can have enough Austen. You can.

Unlike Ryan Phillippe.

D’you get it? HA!

Is it just us or does it feel like Disney is just a little too damn adamant about bringing song and dance back into picture shows? Now don’t get us..

Would somebody get that big walking carpet out of our way?