It’s TGIF, people! And as such, we at BFF have devised another cunning way for you to get off-your-rocker-hammered with a Friday Drinking Game that is devoted whole heartedly to our alien neighbors. Not the mind-your-business-and-we’ll-mind-ours variety but the kind that has a bit of a hard-on for invasion. Seems fitting really, seeing as both The Host and Dark Skies are now on show at a cinema near you.

Staked and sizzling, Twilight is dead at last.

THINK ON YOUR SINS, Twilight fans.

All of that, and still our agonising wait for a Mouse Trap film goes on.

We wanted to say ‘Lovelace poster shows off Amanda Seyfried’s Deep Throat’, but you can’t see her throat at all. Oh well.

To celebrate the release of groundbreaking nonsense Battleship, we’ve sailed the high seas of cinema in search of the silver screen’s best ever boats. Which is your favourite? The Pequod? La Amistad? The Potemkin? Yeah, none of them are in it.

What exactly did you expect from an action epic based on a tea-time board game, starring John Carter, Rihanna, Liam Neeson in his sternest nose and an unexpected boat-steering pensioner whose only line is “looks like someone’s gonna BITE THE DONKEY”? Is this the greatest film ever made? Is it so dreadful I can’t see colours anymore? Why do the aliens love horses? Why is it OK to ask whether a man with prosthetic limbs might be “ONE OF THEM CYBORGS?” Is that blood running down your ears, or can tears come out of there now? Battleship has changed everything.

LIAM NEESON IS A PROPER ACTOR, aint he? We know it, we know it in our heart of hearts. And yet, if we’re honest, it’s been a long road since the jolly old days of Schindler’s List. Can we forgive an Irish scamp The Next Three Days? Wrath Of The Titans? Attack Of The Clones? And more importantly, d’ya think Helen Mirren ever got over him dumping her? Oh that’s right, we’re getting to the proper stuff, it must be CHEAT SHEET O’CLOCK.

A trailer that’s so explosive that it could give you brain damage, and maybe then you’d actually want to see this film.

D… O… N… T… L… E… T… M… I… C… H… A… E… L… B… A… Y… P… R… O… D… U… C… E…