The Zefron is a bit of a dark horse these days; after seeming set for lifelong underage vaginal domination around 2006, when that guiltiest of guilty pleasures came out, High School Musical, he just didn’t take off from Disney quite as drastically as anyone expected. There was a time when he would have been anyone’s first bet for the male leads in things like Avatar – instead, he seems perpetually dissatisfied and cannot decide what he wants. We at BFF do like a mysterious one, so let’s have a wee look.

Vibrating seats? Rhythmic thrusts? FOUR INTENSITY LEVELS? D-Box motion technology has arrived in our cinema seats – just in time for 50 Shades of Grey: The Movie, I hear you cheer excitedly. Well, it turns out it’s also good for Batmen too, as The Dark Knight Rises is finally given the tools needed to move its audience.

It’s Monday, the Olympics are officially open, public transport is hell on earth between the hours of “all the time” and “even at 3.42am”; taking all that into account, you’ve rung into work sick because women’s beach volleyball kicks off this afternoon and Tom Daley will be in Speedos in HD at some point – who wants to miss that? YOU, that’s who. Because the BFI has nice things for you to look at in the way of Alfred Hitchcock; that’s way better than some poxy diving. We hope Daley wees in the pool, so that they postpone it and you HAVE to go.

“Football is 80% mental and 40% physical.” Erroneous mathematics is just one of the highlights of that hallowed cornerstone of the film industry; the sports movie. Other than sex, the only other thing which has the power to absolutely unite the sexes is a good sports film; everyone’s equal in the stadium, you know? Dudes put on makeup and call it “warpaint”, women start bottling people in the stands, everyone wears skintight Lycra – sports movies bring out the pikey banter-lad in us all. It’s hot, the Olympics are nigh – let’s get rowdy.

The wait is finally over! Time to get out your carefully stitched replica Batsuits and head to the cinema – that’s right, wear a constricting black outfit and sit in a massive dark windowless room with hundreds of sweaty geeks, on the hottest day of the year. Yay for slightly cheaper cinema tickets! Do… do any of you think that maybe being a film fan isn’t very healthy?

The Lorax opens on Friday, with the eponymous orange land guardian voiced by Danny DeVito, just as he is in the Spanish, German, Italian and Russian version, which is impressive in anyone’s book. You’ve got til Saturday to catch him in his West End debut The Sunshine Boys with Richard Griffiths. 100% of the people we asked described it as “utterly, painfully tedious”, so make of that what you will. In the meantime, have yourselves a little cheat sheet…

So, who’s already too hot? Air-conditioned museums looking like a better and better option? Yeah, us too – add in some gin, and we’re THERE. Therefore, this TGIM is our request that you run along to the 007 exhibition at the Barbican before the Olympics start and the place is riddled with bemused Japanese tourists asking you to hold their Union Jack bumbags and take photos of them with every cracked floor tile they come across.

Where were you at 6am this morning? Queuing up to be one of the first people in the UK to see The Dark Knight Rises at the IMAX? Sounds like that level of commitment to the caped crusader deserves a drink. Or two. Or three. Or a whole liverful of drinks dedicated to Batman in this week’s Friday Drinking Game…

You’d be forgiven for associating the name “Luke Goss” solely with 80s boy band Bros, of which he was a founding member. Yes, for six glorious years, Bros was the place to be for denim jackets, sexy twins, pop anthems and haircuts you could set your watch to. But all eighties fluff aside, Luke Goss has actually spent the larger part of his career carving out a name for himself as an actor. Working largely stateside, Goss has clocked up an impressive thirty films since 2000 appearing most notably in two Guillermo del Toro films, Blade II and Hellboy II: The Golden Army. But new Brit release Interview with a Hitman marks a return to the spotlight as well as the UK. We checked in with Luke to catch up on all the latest Goss. Ahem.

There’s only one villain who has really been the salsa on the Old El Batman enchilada, and that’s the Joker. Between Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger, that role is all sewn up, and we pray no one ever touches it again. Ever. However, with Tom Hardy’s Bane looking legitimately bed-wettingly scary, we at BFF Towers wondered why so many of Batman’s other enemies didn’t make the cut. From Anarky to Calendar Man, let us take you through what could have been, if Nolan’s films had been intended for the Disney Channel.