Movie 43 may already be the most derided film of all time, and it’s only been in the cinema for less than a week. It’s an ‘anthology film’ of thirteen or more (depending on how you count) short, non-related comedy sketches directed by various different people. We decided to check it out and reflect on what, if anything, it could all mean.

His first starring role since making the relatively short trip back to Hollywood from the L.A. governor’s mansion, Arnold Schwarzenegger creaks back onto the big screen in a routine actioner that bets big on nostalgia for the one-liners and stiff acting he perfected so long ago. Does a dinosaur like Schwarzenegger have a place in an era dominated by wire-less martial arts madness and the kind of jumped-up hyper-kinetic combat pioneered by the Bourne franchise? The Last Stand is a lesson in the saving grace of star power, even if it doesn’t burn quite as bright as it used to.

He’s too old for this shit. Or is he?

Arnold has breached our cynical armour and we can’t help ourselves. Want.

New red-band trailer for Movie 43 stars Kristen Bell’s vagina

Hovering somewhere between a teenage sex-romp comedy and Clarissa Explains it All lies Fun Size, an awkward, inoffensive and ultimately meandering tale attempting to target the abandoned 12-14 y/o market. This film lingers and loiters like a greasy teenager at the mall, and is about as appealing to anyone who is not themselves a greasy teenager.

Arnie’s Back…and he’s so, so old

He plays a sheriff and his catchphrase is “I feel old”

So it looks like they’re making a LEGO film. And by “they” we mean the crazy people in Hollywood who want all the money but their brains don’t work any more because they replaced their brains with sushi and velvet yachts and cynicism so they think money can come from a film about inanimate bricks. WHAT COULD THIS FILM POSSIBLY BE ABOUT?!?! Luckily for you, Hollywood fat cats, BFF have compiled a list of LEGO-inspired films to make the process a bit easier for you. Enjoy!