Mate, those funnel web spiders will Nock. Your. Punk ass. DOWN!

After a distressingly long absence from our – well, not our screens exactly, but our derelict warehouses – Secret Cinema is back with its biggest every event, running for a full month here in London. And it starts this week. Thank God it’s Monday!

Seriously, we’re asking you.

Click! Click! Click! OH GOD DON’T KILL ME

That doesn’t sound very chestburster-tastic…

pRometheus

PrometheYES

The chestburster can’t be more terrifying than the acting in any given Nicholas Sparks film, surely?

Cue a furious war of trailer one-upmanship…

Damn they’re rather good at this, aren’t they?