The Conjuring is, in its basest form, a ghost story. And, while ghost stories are usually pretty terrifying, in their own little way, there’s USUALLY a get-out clause of some kind. Haunted houses, for example, are just that; haunted houses. Ghost stays in, you run outside screaming and bag yourself a room at the local…

Good luck outacting a fifteen-year-old, Rupe.

The English-language debut of Swedish thriller director Daniel Espinosa is a “high-octane”, “intense”, “no holds barred” (delete as appropriate) maelstrom of secrets, spies and badly edited fight scenes. The cast is fine and it’s always nice to go back to South Africa (fokken prawns!), but surely we’ve outgrown two hour gunfights interspersed with trash talk?

Is there anything that woman can’t do?

Wherefore art thou original plot lines?

Wow. That’s… stupid.

Oh my shit, it’s April! And it’s brought along not only Fools’ Days, sweet spring showers and the prospect of some chinless wonder marrying a Sloane, but also a batch of fresh and steaming new films – some promising, others less so. Stick around as we sift through this month’s cinematic offerings week by week and separate the fresh fish (FRESH FISH, Glen Coco!) from the distinctly murky tuna salad…

Mind-blowing follow up to Moon, Duncan Jones scores again with a twisting, explosive sci-fi actioner. Go and see it!

Henry’s Crime is a film about robbery, redemption, love and Chekov. Not as highbrow as it sounds, Keanu Reeves stars in this new dramatic comedy about a man wrongfully imprisoned who decided to commit the crime for which he served the time, aided and abetted by James Caan and Vera Farmiga

Keanu Reeves as a mild-mannered nobody transformed into a daring raider by years of punishing injustice at the hands of a faceless governmental machine? That sounds familiar…