Your short-cut to the important stuff.

Staked and sizzling, Twilight is dead at last.

Anna Karenina seems to have been added one too many times

THINK ON YOUR SINS, Twilight fans.

I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know something about vampires I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know please please make it stop why why why why why why I don’t know I don’t know CGI devil baby no no no no no no no werewolves why why why oh god make it stop.

Blah blah blah Twilight blah blah blah Vampires blah.

Genuine quote. We guess the alumni are more Cosmopolis than Twilight people…

He’s really good at tracing, actually, if you give him a bit of help on how to hold the pencil.

Every group needs a hate figure. In music, it’s the squeaky voiced sick-midget Justin Bieber, in Christianity it’s that scheming git Judas, and in film that hate figure has gradually become mop-haired vampire-face Robert Pattinson. But guys, c’mon! Don’t hate the player, hate the game! The game in this case being “make loadsa cash out of thick people-ball”. Pattinson’s not to blame, he’s just trying his best.

Probably yes, is the answer.