This is it – the end of the single most laborious series of blogs we have ever bloody produced. Dying to find out who made the grade for our Top 12 cinematic drummers? They’re all here, and whoever you’re thinking of is definitely among them (turns out nobody really likes drummers). Merry Christmas, and see you same time next year!

Pipers piping! Eleven of the buggers! We’ve had to get a little creative with this one. Along with a few lovely lady Pipers, we’re also celebrating the Christmassy goodness stuffed into Nicolas Cage’s lucky crackpipe, one of the various instruments of death found in the House of Wax, and an escape route Tim Robbins would probably like to forget. LET’S GET PIPING.

As our Christmas countdown edges into double figures and you realise that you have, what, three days left to do your shopping (don’t forget about Susan in Marketing, because you know she’ll get you something even if you’ve already done Secret Santa and it’s always awkward), what better way could there be to fritter a few minutes of our last pre-apocalypse day than by reading our tenth successive holly-draped blog about nothing much?

Gender bending is one of the lost arts. There was a period in the 90s when you couldn’t move in Hollywood for transvestism. It sort of became the default mode for any comedic scene. Chuck in a corset and a couple of fake boobs and BAM! You’ve got cinema gold. Although the subject of emotional turmoil, sexual identity and gender reassignment has been covered sensitively and dramaticly by some amazing films, you’re not going to find The Crying Game on this list. No, we’ve cobbled together our favourite horrifying gender bending scenes from film. Get out the fishnet stockings, folks!

Pop Up Screen events take place throughout the year, and can turn a movie-outing into something special. Over the next few days, the Christmas screenings continue, (thankfully) taking the films inside, away from that cold, damp English winter. To sample the silky hot chocolate, the crunchy popcorn and the homey mulled wine, Best For Film was invited to a screening of Bad Santa in a cosy warehouse just off Brick Lane.

Three quarters of the way into our Christmas countdown, we’re relaxing our previously bird-centric attitudes to focus on the ladies who make Hollywood dainty and sweet-smelling and so on. Except for Lady Snowblood, who’s a mass murderer. And Margaret ‘Iron Lady’ Thatcher, who wore awful suits and destroyed British heavy industry more or less on a whim. And Lady, who’s a dog and reportedly spent most of her time off-camera licking her own vagina in a pile of fox shit. Ladies are unpredictable, is our point.

Writer from Lost and Star Trek, and J J Abrams’ bitch, drops out of Prometheus sequel

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU, OH ONCE MIGHTY IRON MAN?!

Can you believe that there’s only 6 days until Christmas!? Let us commiserate at the implacable march of time by considering our top 8 maids a-milking. There’s a lot of fertile subject matter here, but it’s become a little tribute to some of the most important themes of Christmas – family, togetherness, the sacrifices of a loving mother, baby Jesus and… um… Joe Pesci? Whatever. Milky maids. Let’s do it.

FINALLY! It may be only day 7 of our Christmas countdown, but we’re diving into the sherry because it’s the last of the bloody bird-related ones. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be funny about twenty-three sort-of birds over the course of a week? No wonder we’ve ended up writing about such tenuous nonsense. Still, take heart – Christmas is just a few days away and there will be maids for you tomorrow. Until then, Christmas swans ’til death!