The latest Broadway show to hit the silver screen is an eclectic celebration of all things 80s, unless those things include drugs or AIDS or, you know, anything of genuine interest or significance bar Tom Cruise in leather chaps. Boasting a ruthlessly PG-ified script, a series of songs you’ll probably never have heard before and Bryan Cranston getting gently spanked, Rock of Ages is just silly enough to take the edge off how dull it is.

Master of self-conscious satire Todd Solondz is back to make that same film he always makes, except this time round there’s more hepatitis and even less to enjoy. Dark Horse has the usual complement of awkward jokes and improbable characters, but is the celebrated director of Happiness just going through the motions?

What happens when you mix a trio of international film makers with magic realism, Le Havre, and seaweed bikini dance numbers? You get something like The Fairy, an artsy ditty of a meditation on love, life and happiness.

What do you get if you take Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Edward Norton, some kids and Wes Anderson’s terrifying, beautiful mind? NO, not an orgy with incredibly good dialogue. Did you not read the “some kids” bit? Anyway, it turns out you get perfectly crafted 60s fairytale Moonrise Kingdom, a loving paean to childhood, companionship and, well, camping. It’s a real treat.

Yep, it’s another one of those films where very clean celebrities pretend to have names like “Holly” and “Gary” and there’s just loads of them, loads of them scuttling around like glowing, plastic noise-rats shouting “UH OH! BABIES!” and it’s funny until it’s not and then it is again because sad emotions only last as long as a scene of about four minutes, and then it’s BACK TO CHRIS ROCK DOING HIS JOKES and people in bikinis and Jennifer Lopez realising stuff and then crying so gently. Just call it Middle Class Heteros Have Kids (You Don’t Even Get To See Them Shag), and be done with it.

Julie Delpy’s follow-up to her 2007 film 2 Days in Paris retains a little of the charm and humour of its predecessor, but there’s an oddly forced quality to the proceedings. In place of the previous film’s intuitive and authentic depiction of an unravelling relationship are clumsy setpieces and surreal gags which smack of a project that is inherently directionless. Julie Delpy and Chris Rock are charming, alongside comic standout Albert Delpy. But ultimately the film feels flabby and ill-defined, and the presence of Adam Goldberg is sorely missed.

Larry Charles’s outrageously offensive, all-guns-blazing comedy isn’t so much a sharp satire as an exercise in eccentric crassness. Lacking the edge of Borat and Brüno, The Dictator is nonetheless a disconcertingly amusing, predictably gross-out affair, packed full of memorable moments and reliant almost solely upon a central performance from everyone’s favourite master of grotesquerie, Sacha Baron Cohen.

Never quite sure whether it wants to champion the go-getters or those who just let fate sweep them along, Jeff, Who Lives At Home is nevertheless a perfectly amiable mumblecore comedy made watchable by the great chemistry between its leads Jason Segel and Ed Helms. Though it loses its head somewhat in the strangely action-packed final third, some good dialogue and gentle laughs make it just about worth a visit.

This new family-centred comedy from the writer of East is East is sweet, charming and occasionally surprising but suffers from the transition from stage to screen. Slack in the middle and overly repetitious, All in Good Time ultimately feels like a small amount of material stretched over too much screen time.

The film of that TV series you’ve never heard of, Dark Shadows does justice to neither its cult classic source material nor the combined talents of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. Fifty times longer than its trailer and half as enjoyable, Dark Shadows is one of the most tiresome, derivative and uninspiring movies you’re likely to see this year.