Nothing groundbreaking or awe-inspiring to be seen here, but John Carpenter being just okay is still better than no John Carpenter at all. Flimsy plot and performances, but what you’re forking over for is the shocks, and he still delivers better than most. Will leave you thinking, “Come on, John… let’s next time get our hands REALLY dirty.”

Breathtakingly poor in all departments except pants-wetting unintentional hilarity, Sudden Fury has to be seen to be believed. Get some friends round, order the tinnies in, and cover the couch in plastic. Fantastic.

Reader! Would you like to be able to write convincing clichés about films which are genuinely able to inspire laughter and tears in successive heartbeats? If you would, please keep your sordid phrases well away from Barney’s Version, a work of art which will stay with you long after the lights go up. An uncommonly captivating tale with memorable performances all round, it is superb.

Bleak and haunting, desolate and devoid… It’s grim up north in Scottish filmmaker Ruth Paxton’s award-winning take on rural isolation and nerve-wearing home care. Great performances and a disquieting underbelly elevate this short above the format’s usual one-note fare, and mark Paxton and Malone out as ones to watch.

What could Moby Dick do with less of, I hear you ask. Whales? And more dragons? Well never fear, because Ryan Little’s cruddy adaptation of the novel, starring Vinnie Jones, provides all that and more.

Henry’s Crime is a film about robbery, redemption, love and Chekov. Not as highbrow as it sounds, Keanu Reeves stars in this new dramatic comedy about a man wrongfully imprisoned who decided to commit the crime for which he served the time, aided and abetted by James Caan and Vera Farmiga

This Bollywood movie ticks all the boxes. There’s jewels. There’s dancing. There’s more glitter than you can shake a stick at. Ignore the terrible subtitles and a plot that’s holier than Gouda, and enjoy the intertextual extravaganza which manages to reference Kill Bill, The Matrix and the Three Stooges.

Seth Rogen and Michel Gondry – together at last! A most original cinematic odd couple whose Green Hornet manages to absorb elements of the best of both; the pair combine trademark Rogen gagsmithery and Gondry mind-bending visuals to breathe life into a threadbare tale and bring verve and invention to a genre creaking under the sheer weight of its own offerings.

How much would you sacrifice for your brother? Offer him a place to stay if he got kicked out of his house? Lend him some money if he was out of work? How about taking a law degree if you knew he’d got himself into some legal trouble? This incredible true story of sibling love sees Hilary Swank and Sam Rockwell deliver heart breaking performances in a brilliantly engaging film.

Animal Kingdom – cheesy title, no? Conjures up images of pencilled lions, the wilderness and that Elton John number. Well, forget those cute cartoons, this is serious. Incredibly unsettling and unpredictable (except the end – I saw that coming), David Michôd has brought the world a fantastic drama that packs more punches than Mohammed Ali.