It’s almost impressive, the way Nic Cage can go on relentlessly lowering the standard of his output the way he does. If you thought National Treasure: Book of Secrets was as bad as it was going to get, you still had Season of the Witch to look forward to. And then Trespass. And now Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, in which FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA’S NEPHEW MANAGES TO MAKE A FLAMING SKELETON BORING.

A tacky manipulative offence? A cynical piece of emotional hack work? A shockingly brazen attempt at cashing in on 2996 dead Americans? If only it was that interesting. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is most remarkable for how utterly unengaging it manages to be.

Tilda Swinton shines as the troubled mother of an even more troubled child. Though ‘shines’ is probably the wrong word to use for such a startingly bleak performance.

You might not have heard the one about the widower who bought his kids a zoo, but remarkably it has its basis in reality. While Matt Damon’s latest might be far from the actor’s best work, We Bought a Zoo is a touching, humbling and wonderfully gracious film that should begin to undo the damage caused by Kevin James’ atrocious Zookeeper. You can put down that Capuchin, it turns out they’re not all voiced by Adam Sandler.

A who’s who of pensionable British talent is shipped off to the colonies for The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a charming comedy which makes full use of its intoxicating setting and first-rate cast. Ever wished Love Actually had more curry and jokes about hip replacements?

Ever wondered what it would feel like to be told after the event that your lap-dancer has crabs? Wonder no more – this exploitation thriller come ho-mance will take you through it step by sordid step.

The potentially toxic pairing of Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum come together for a surprisingly warm love story. That despite Tatum’s best attempts to ruin it with his plank of a performance.

StudioCanal are re-releasing Jean Renoir’s finest hour back into cinemas, in honour of it’s 75th birthday. Do yourself a huge favour and go; this comic gem is as relevant as it’s ever been.

Teenage angst breaches new yet surprisingly dull territory in this pretentious thriller set in an East Coast prep school. Afterschool provides a hundred solid minutes of tedious indie art as we explore awkward social situations and drug abuse, all through one too many lingering back-of-head shots.

After following menswear designer Ozwald Boateng around for twelve years, you’d think that at the very least Varon Bonicos might have a good bit of fashion gossip to share with us. Sadly not. A slightly stuffy, rose-tinted documentary about an evidently talented man; though its grounding is in clothing creation it never quite manages to cut to the chase.