What is it with horribly titled British films lately? First Swinging With the Finkels, now this? C’mon people, just name your film after a dinosaur, there’s loads of them left. It’d be much easier to sell a dark comedy set in a Scottish brothel (apparently they’re legal up there, fancy that!) if it was called Tyrannosaurus Sex. Just sayin. Luckily though, Spanking in Paradise is infinitely better than its dreadful title, a witty, surprisingly restrained and thoroughly Scottish gem.

Well, not scientifically speaking, unless you’re a lizard. But it will once this snow-lovin’ yeti gets his axe into you. Yep, they can use tools now. Power of evolution.

Rom-coms don’t get a great rep these days do they? Understandably, we like it when a good one comes along. Be prepared for your fondness for Emma Stone to turn into full-fledged obsession. Girls want to be her, boys want to take her home, have a chat, and then ask her tentatively to be their girlfriend.

Tired of the regular run-of-the-mill sexual porn? Well why not come on down and try some gore porn? The Woman has LOTS of it. A feral woman living in the woods is captured by an All-American family to induct her into the ‘normal’ way of life. What could go wrong?

When China Met Africa is a indepth documentary about China’s economic foray into Africa in 2006. Described as a “rare, grass-roots view into one of the most important economic challenges of our age” by The Times, it’s just as exciting as it sounds.

Apollo 18, the sequel to 1995 sci-fi Apollo 13, reveals why the US never returned to the moon after a disastrous secret space mission. Despite a sluggish start, some deeply unsettling extra-terrestrials eventually make it an effective space-misadventure.

The Art of Getting By, a film about New York teenagers dealing with the woes of negligent parenting, first love, and existentialism, is just as likeable as it sounds.

Natalie Portman’s shiny new Academy Award is going to reflect an awful lot of spotlights on her over the next few years. This should be fine, of course, but it’s not ideal when the project currently in the post-Oscar glare is a distinctly average drama which she made before Black Swan and which has only just crept onto DVD. The only impossibility in Love and Other Impossible Pursuits is enjoying it.

Half drowned from the deluge of rave reviews (and probably lagoon) with which it was met in Venice, Tomas Alfredson’s adaptation of John Le Carré’s classic Cold War thriller will shortly open in Britain. Don’t miss it. As engaging an adaptation of the labyrinthine novel as was the classic BBC series starring Alec Guinness, this is the very definition of a masterful translation to the screen.

In series 5 of cult US drama Dexter, the serial serial killer killing forensic blood spatter analyst (and serial killer, but it doesn’t do to pigeonhole) is on full form with fresh challenges, unexpected emotions and probably some more serial killers to kill. Serially. All in a day’s work, eh?