DISCLAIMER: This film is A Film About Animals on Farms. If you’re a young girl, and you still think being a vet involves magically making animals better all the time, you’ll love it (and I hope your parents are strictly monitoring your internet use). Everyone else: avoid All Roads Lead Home. Avoid it like it’s a sow coughing loudly circa 2009.

James D’Arcy owns his role as ex-soldier turned prison officer in this gritty insight into life in one of England’s most dangerous prisons. This semi-autobiographical story is based on the memoirs of Ronnie Thompson – a prison officer for seven years in some of the country’s most dangerous prisons – unearths the inherent corruption and violence that is common place in this environment.

In February of 1976 Francis Ford Coppola and his American Zoetrope production team began filming Apocalypse Now. Approximately 3 years later and reportedly some $30 million over budget the film premiered at the Cannes festival to wide critical acclaim. Now, some 30 years down the line the Vietnam epic has been lovingly restored by Coppola’s own production company and is back on the big screen. It should go without saying that for a generation of cinephiles this presents an opportunity not to be missed.

A documentary about Brazilian Formula One racing driver Ayrton Senna, who won the F1 world championship three times before his death at age 34. Vividly realised by Asif Kapadia, all those who hail Hamilton and Vettel as their heroes should see this film and witness the champions of yesteryear.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch a Grand Theft Auto game done with real actors and a tiny effects budget? Then look no further! Blood, Breasts and Stock Characters in Africa: or, Viva Riva!, the first full-length feature film to make it from the Congo to the US, could scarcely be a more crude and depressing reflection of the worst and most pointless aspects of Hollywood. For shame.

Ghosted is another reliable, by-the-numbers and relatively unmemorable British prison drama. Why do we keep making them? Presumably because people lap them up – and if prison-drama-up-lapping is your bag, this’ll do you just fine.

Despite being the one person on a football pitch we love to hate, Yves Hinant’s documentary goes some way to having the audience empathise with referees. Death threats, controversy, swearing, who’d thought referees could be this interesting, eh?

A straight-to-DVD prize, where perinatal horror and unnaturally large nipples eclipse murder, paranoia and preternatural possession into insignificant mundanity. There’s little else to say, really, except to ask if we really needed another reason to fear the gory joys of pregnancy?

The street dance film is a genre in its own right these days, what with the huge string of them in recent years such as the original Honey film, Step Up, Step Up 2: The Streets, and the soon to be Stepped Up: Now Having a Well-Deserved Rest. Fancy another? Well here you go!

Gérard Depardieu excels as a hulking giant of a man in the weirdly hypnotic French melodrama Mammuth. It’s an ultra surreal tale of man, machine and the journey that lies beyond retirement.