ExpendaBALLS.

Bringing Up Bobby, Famke Janssen’s directorial debut, is an excellent example of why some actors should stay in front of the camera. Although it’s reasonably well put-together, any attempt at drama, or comedy, or pathos comes off as aggressively soporific. You’ll spend less time watching the film than wondering if Milla Jovovich’s character is a paedophile. Flat, boring and stupid, no one need subject themselves to this rancid cinematic cheese.

While critically condemned, the Resident Evil franchise has nevertheless achieved considerable commercial success and enjoyed a wide audience. That’s all likely to change after Resident Evil: Retribution, a film so laughably incapable, so shamelessly derivative and so woefully unengaging that it’ll likely succeed where its zombie antagonists have failed… in mortally wounding Milla Jovovich’s Alice.

Just when we thought the Expendables series couldn’t get any better, word has reached us that producer Adi Shankar has plans to make an all-female version of action ensemble. Director of the sequel, Simon West has stated that he is fully on board with the idea (WHO WOULDN’T BE?) and would like to see a line-up involving the likes of Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, Milla Jovovich, Helen Mirren and Jamie Lee Curtis. We can see the appeal of those casting choices but here at BFF (which otherwise stands for Best For Females) we’ve dreamed up a list with a little more bite. So here it is chaps and chapettes: the top ten ovarylicious casting choices for an all-female Expendables. WARNING: Due to her recent involvement in the unforgivable Red Lights, Sigourney Weaver has been banned from this list.

Best of the Year is back – we won’t rest until every year since the invention of the cine camera has been commemorated with a series of reductive and genre-specific blogs! This week it’s the turn of 1997. Specifically, action films from 1997. Specifically, Vincent’s favourite action films from 1997. Want to write your own Best of blog? Get in touch at [email protected]!

Paul WS Anderson is definitely directing Resident Evil 6. Which means Resident Evil 6 is definitely happening.

For some reason, Resident Evil is getting a sixth film

To herald the release of Warm Bodies, we’ve got a brand spanking new drinking game that’ll require you to wipe the dust off your copy of Night of the Living Dead and drink. A lot. No longer will you need to be afraid of these flesh-eating terrorists, because every time they do something irrational or conventionally zombie-like, you’ll be drunk and won’t notice when they eat your face off.

THINK ON YOUR SINS, Twilight fans.

Sigourney Weaver is back on our screens this week with Red Lights, her third dismal thriller in under a year. But there’s more than guns and Cillian Murphy to the Queen of Sci-Fi, the woman credited with finally bringing gender balance to the Force from Ghostbusters to Avatar. Oh, and did you know she’s part of a club that includes Jamie Foxx, Emma Thompson and Al Pacino? It’s Cheat Sheet o’clock!