How many more must suffer at the hands of Transformers, Dark Of The Moon?

JUST LEAVE US IN THE DARK, JESUS

Thank God for that.

…or whatever.

BEST WORDS. ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THE WORDS THAT ARE THE BEST WORDS ARE IN THAT TITLE

OH GOD WHO SET FIRE TO THE SKY? Summer has finally arrived, and if you’re going to preserve that distinctive ‘cineaste tan’ (dead white skin, blue veins, squinting eyes) then you need to stay in the shade. And where could be shadier than a cinema? Apart from an adult cinema, of course. FUN WITH HOMONYMS!

Julie Delpy’s follow-up to her 2007 film 2 Days in Paris retains a little of the charm and humour of its predecessor, but there’s an oddly forced quality to the proceedings. In place of the previous film’s intuitive and authentic depiction of an unravelling relationship are clumsy setpieces and surreal gags which smack of a project that is inherently directionless. Julie Delpy and Chris Rock are charming, alongside comic standout Albert Delpy. But ultimately the film feels flabby and ill-defined, and the presence of Adam Goldberg is sorely missed.

WE HEART YOU SECRET CINEMA EVEN IF YOU DO COST ALL THE MONEY

Heaven forbid we should forget what Batman looks like.

DARKER? Than lovely Chloe Moretz saying that naughty word?