HAMMER (not Armie. That’s the other one)

It’s not easy being a displaced child, less still being the parent of one. Don’t believe me? Then watching this film should be all the proof you need.

Monday morning and already sick of the week? Sitting rigid in your cubicle/ coffin making money for an employer who hates you? Staring dead-eyed into the coldness of the computer screen willing the date on the calender forward towards the next opportunity to drink yourself into a blackout? Well here’s something to cheer you up: NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE!

In the trailer for The Devil Inside the film rather proudly states that the Vatican did not give its endorsement. Well, neither did they endorse 21 Jump Street, but you don’t see them banging on about it do you? Anyway, perhaps they just weren’t fans of the movie. Big cinephile, The Pope, didn’t you know? Well, you will after reading his scathing critques of these other films the Vatican doesn’t want you to see.

Epilepsy warning: For some reason, this trailer appears to have been edited using a strobe light. It may look cool, but it could kill you.

For everyone who has been waiting patiently since Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House…

“Four score and seven *AXES HAPPEN*

HE’S PLAYING BRUCE WILLIS.

To celebrate the release of the surprisingly lark-worthy 21 Jump Street, we’ve decided to spend the evening getting drunk to the best ever supremely awful protectors of citizens world-wide. Grab yourself a beer, Bad Boys 2 and someone you despise (but will come to depend on) – there are cannons en-route, and boy are they ever loose.

Suddenly that white gown is looking like an impractical choice…