A joyful, rich and eye-meltingly beautiful celebration of cinema, an homage to artistry throughout the ages and at its roots a love story, plain and simple – silent film The Artist is as close to perfect as we’re ever likely to get. It might be a little early to place this as the best film of 2012, but frankly, no-one could blame them for being quietly (very quietly) confident about the matter.

But not a justification.

Horrible Bosses, horrible news.

SHERLOCKHAAAN!

KILL THEM, GINA! KILL THEM WITH YOUR FISTS!

Oh my flipping flopping flange, the OWLs are a year old! This is momentous. We’d love to throw our weekly citrus opinion-fest a more fitting party, but unfortunately 2012 has so far been the year of totally crap films. Still, things are bound to pick up – and until they do, you need our help more than ever…

SPOILER: The characters wear clothes.

Titles are important. Think about it; if you were going to eat a chocolate bar, wouldn’t you rather something delicious-sounding like a Caramel rather than a Turd? Of course you would. It’s the same with films, which is why we hate those that give away EVERYTHING in the title. Here are the 10 worst offenders, which we’ve messed with, BFF style…

Aren’t they worried about all the swears?

Well done him.