“Elementary, my dear Watson!” – probably all of you right now. NO! Sherlock Holmes never said that. Let it go, people.

This glum tale of homelessness and drug addiction in Dublin features strong performances from its leads, but is let down by an overbearing soundtrack and a predictably worthy storyline. Also, clock metaphors, clock metaphors everywhere I turn!

Remake? No. Reinvent? Yes! Join us on an adventure in repetition as we go on an adventure in repetition. Learn your what to do and (more importantly) what not to do in the many occasions throughout your life when you will be called upon to direct the remake of a classic movie.

Did you feel a breeze? That was the unanimous sighs of us here at BFF Towers…

Do you like machine guns? Do you like Jesus? Then you’ll love Machine Gu- oh, wait. That might not actually be enough to close the deal. Let’s try again: do you like the flagrant deification of bikers with hearts of gold? Do you like Gerard Butler being utterly dull as usual? Do you like the White Messiah fable? Then you’ll love Machine Gun Preacher! That’s more like it.

Dum-de-de-de-dum-dum-dum-dum

*snigger*

She has a bath. It’s enough.

Normally the we’d mock, but we’re genuinely fans of his work.

Such a beautiful family.