We’re at the point now where, to a certain extent, we know what to expect from Wes Anderson. A charming screenplay, delightful production design, exquisitely composed cinamatography, and a barrel of actors we all wish we could take out for gin. The Grand Budapest Hotel delivers on all counts, as we knew it would, but…

A BRILLIANT trailer.

The rights were a steal! Because it sounds like an awful movie. And also because Lindsay Lohan is a thief.

With a hiatus of well over a decade, Detachment is director Tony Kaye’s first feature film since American History X. A stylized indie exploration of the life of a high school substitute and the broken public school system, it’s visually very impressive and boasts a stellar cast being totally stellar. Unfortunately it insists on hurling misery at you like its disaffected teens throw the outdated resource materials in their underfunded library at each other (violently and often).

You put your Chloë in, your Demi out, in out in out watch Amanda Seyfried have sex at gunpoint. That’s how it goes, isn’t it?

GET IT OUT, BRODY

Woody Allen opened this year’s Cannes Film Festival with a tale of nostalgic wish fulfillment that sees Owen Wilson’s struggling writer transported to 1920s Paris in order to ‘find himself’. With Gertrude Stein, Pablo Picasso and rhinoceros enthusiast Salvador Dali along for the ride, Midnight in Paris is a charmingly unhurried fable which reminds you to be careful what you wish for.

Bruce Willis may take over the role of The Thing in next year’s Fantastic Four reboot.

Vincenzo Natali’s Splice, much like the genetically manipulated subject of the film, is a hybrid. Living up to its title, the film splices modern fears about genetics with the traditional monster movie, mixing in elements of a psychological drama and dark comedy for good measure. It is a Frankenstein’s monster of a movie that sometimes lumbers around awkwardly under the strain of all its parts, but ultimately remains a fascinating, original and horrifying beast.