More sneak peeks from the July-release blockbuster.

A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty “Hi-ho, I’m a massive racist!”, Johnny Depp!

Looking for tips on how to play Batman Armie? Lose the gravelly voice thing yeah?

Johnny Depp is wearing lots of makeup and doing a weird voice, people still put milk in their cereal and the sky is still blue.

Hey, do you have a name? I don’t care really. You’re not famous. Neither is Frances Gumm. Or should I say JUDY GARLAND. Come on peeps, we all know they laughed at old Gummy’s face when she came to an audition. Why, Virginia McMath was probably a boffin before she became Ginger Rogers, and don’t even get me started on Archie Leach. What’s in a name? Well, I’m gonna show you.

Snow White is a classic tale of true love, unfathomable evil and the perils of vanity. Mirror Mirror, on the other hand, is a story about the classic heroine getting riled up about taxes and joining a group of bandits…

Even DiCaprio’s firmest putting-on-glasses-then-taking-off-glasses can’t puncture this thick, bland-tastic portrait of the man who started the the FBI. Sexuality scandals, deep-rooted mummy issues, a hatred for Martin Luther King and loads and loads of holding guns – how on earth did Clint Eastwood manage to make this chap so dull?

Don’t worry, Kristen Stewart doesn’t say anything in it.

Who was that masked man, anyway?

And if Leo doesn’t get an Oscar nom for this, we’ll eat John’s hat…