So it looks like they’re making a LEGO film. And by “they” we mean the crazy people in Hollywood who want all the money but their brains don’t work any more because they replaced their brains with sushi and velvet yachts and cynicism so they think money can come from a film about inanimate bricks. WHAT COULD THIS FILM POSSIBLY BE ABOUT?!?! Luckily for you, Hollywood fat cats, BFF have compiled a list of LEGO-inspired films to make the process a bit easier for you. Enjoy!

Hollywood’s busiest and worst actor is at it again, with two films out this week alone (he filmed them both at the weekend). But does the wreckage of a once great actor lurk somewhere within Cage’s permatanned skull, forever besieged with gruesome memories of Season of the Witch and National Treasure: Book of Secrets? You’ll have to read on to find out… [SPOILER: probably not]

This Friday heralds the release of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s directorial debut, Jack Goes Boating. In honour of his achievements in the worlds of film and seeming like a nice man, we have decided to take a look back at his career. From bit parts to lead roles, Hoffman has always stood out as a dignified, intelligent actor. Plus, he was in Triple Bogey on a Par Five Hole, only our favourite movie of all time!

In Time is any studio exec’s dream. High-concept but easily simplified sci-fi, PLUS a distinctly un-futuristic set with just one really memorable visual tag which can be dragged out for all the posters, PLUS a plot point which means you can literally cast Olivia Wilde as Justin Timberlake’s mum? Gold, all of it. And the amazing thing is, In Time could have had all these and still been good. Unfortunately, twelve thousand temporal puns do not a watchable film make.

We couldn’t think of anyone better for a psycho thriller…

Does this make him Baldr or Váli? #norsemythologyjoke

Is there still a chance it’s all a hilarious joke?

One’s a serial killer, the other’s a cop – guess who’s who, we think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

WHY? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, NICOLAS CAGE?

While more and more employees of News of the World are set to be detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure, we’ve been making a list of all the people we think should be locked up. Like Rebekah Brooks, these sly foxes have gotten away with it somehow (although unlike Rebekah Brooks, they are all fictional characters in movies). It’s time we put the world to rights and take matters into our own hands – all rise for the court of long-ignored crimes.