I AM INVINCIBLE!

Santa Claws is coming to town.

Professor Xavier to bake ‘Epic Victoria Sponge’ for occasion.

If we were James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, we would be very, very worried right now

X-Men Assemble! Oh no wait, we’re getting our superheroes mixed up.

Ice Age 4 hurtles from one boring and entirely unoriginal scenario to another, justifying its glaring historical and chronological inaccuracies, hopeless characters, tedious plot and joyless slapstick by covering them in frozen precipitation. It’s just a rehash of previous Ice Age themes and scenes from other, better films, but told by prehistoric animals that existed millions of years apart. Sure it’s for kids, but a cinema full of children could only muster the occasional half-hearted chuckle and even the sound of Sid regurgitating something into his paw couldn’t mask the sound of artistic integrity quietly dying.

This summer, you can hardly move for superhero films – and Green Lantern aside, we’ve seen most of the stars before. All the classic heroes have had a fair few outings with different faces by now, and if there’s one thing we hate about competition it’s not knowing who’s the WINNER. Feel like arbitrarily deciding whether Michael Keaton’s better at being grumpy than Christian Bale? Good.

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Apart from very new couples who are still overdosing on saccharine, there really isn’t a single adult human – taken or unattached – who enjoys its enforced affection and awkward present-buying. Of course, the torture is worse if you know you’re planning to ditch your other half but still have to lavish them with contrived pseudo-love – and that’s where we come in…

Bryan Singer, who is producing X-Men: First Class, has confirmed that Wolverine will not appear in the Marvel Comics prequel due out next year.

Guillermo del Toro has locked horns with Universal over the proposed star of his next film, At The Mountains Of Madness.