…is what Richard Branson’s lawyers told us to write

In this vast, unknowable, ever-changing universe there are few things which we can safely rely on to remain constant. Thus those that do, those that struggle on relentlessly, blithely ignoring the evanescent nature of human existence – taxes, the Kardashians, films which pit one mythical creature/alien/abstract concept against another in a brutal fight to the death – can only bring us joy. In recognition, then, of the grand tradition of the “something vs something else” film – and to celebrate the release of Strippers vs. Werewolves – we bring you the Top Ten Versus Films. Enjoy! But remember, whoever wins, we lose/get eaten.

Because he’s the most perfect human being ever…

Oh Ryan, what have those monsters done to you?

Look, a picture of Ryan Gosling looking pissed off

… and we’re in love with it.

The first silent film to win an award in ninety years is doing more than that – it’s sweeping the board at every ceremony going. But will The Artist‘s unprecedented success herald a new trend of homages to the silent films which continue to shape modern pop culture? Nicola Marchant finds out more…

But where’s Drive?

Seriously?

STOP PRESS: Michelle Williams is fabulous in My Week with Marilyn. As she is is literally everything else she’s ever made, ever. By rights, you should know her blood type and preferred cut of underwear by now – and if you don’t, then why are you lingering here and not ploughing straight into this Cheat Sheet? Go! Go!