.. and Mama and Identity Thief and Van Helsing and Bourne and probably your mum.
Back to deliver yet more gratuitous violence, outrageous plot twists and dreadful puns, Sylvester Stallone and his team have got another job, and this time they’re joined by Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Subtle nuances and character development there is not, but The Expendables 2 knows exactly what it is and it delivers. Sure, the lines are literally made of cheese, but what’s not to love about a bunch of good old fashioned action heroes doing what they do best?
Rarely has a film with so much hype failed so horribly to deliver. Director Tony Gilroy seems to think he could get away with remaking the first Bourne, except without the amnesia. Or the excitement, characters, wit, joy, love interest, narrative, decent plot or action sequences. The fourth film, with its ‘wider conspiracy’ and all those ‘rewards for paying attention’ we were promised, is entirely uninspiring and utterly soulless.
Back on our screens for what feels like the umpteenth time this year, Jeremy Renner aims to take over from Matt Damon in The Bourne Legacy. Whether life imitates art and the actor finds himself at the centre of another, very real mission impossible, you should probably swat up on The Other Avenger as it looks like he’s undoubtedly here to stay.
So guess what comes out on Monday? It’s only the bloody Bourne Legacy! Smash smash punch punch ride that motorbike keep squealing Rachel Weisz – Gosh we’re excited. So excited we’re going to spend this evening in the throes of a Bourneathlon. Writer Tony Gilroy says of the upcoming ‘wider conspiracy’ film that “everyone who got into [the first three] will be rewarded for paying attention”. Sounds like a challenge, no point going on Monday unless you’ve watched all three back to back and given your attention span/liver a real work out.
Money. So much money. All the money.
Seriously Renner, can we have one day where there is no news about you?