MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA, YOU KILLED MY FATHER, PREPARE oh is it not actually happening? Okay.

But.. but what about Mary-Ashley?

Did you know Billy Shakespeare wrote thirty seven plays? That’s more plays than number of tears we’ve wept about how few plays we’ve written. And approximately four of them are still knocking about today. One of those plays isn’t Coriolanus, but that didn’t stop Ralph Fiennes making an adaptation of it. What a mess. Do you need a drink yet? Us too.

Noblivion?

Rage is one of the best indie horror flicks we’ve seen in a long while. Drawing on Hitchcockian techniques, Witherspoon manages to transform an everyday occurrence into a terrifyingly realistic psychological thriller, keeping the suspense-fuelled mystery turned right up until the very end….

With hard-hitting sex-addict drama Shame hitting our screens to the applause of critics everywhere, it’s no wonder we’ve got the two-backed monster on our minds. From Carey Mulligan’s unexpected nudity (forget the sad eyes!) and Fassbender’s humongous ‘fassbender’, it was pretty sexy. So sexy. But also horribly horribly unsexy. And so, to celebrate all things gross and disturbing in the bedroom, we’ve decided to count down the top 10 least sexy sex scenes ever…

Greedy.

If there’s one thing that The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo has given us (and I’m including both the Swedish original and David Fincher’s recent blockbuster when I say this) it’s a new Goth poster-girl for the 21st century. Lisbeth Salander has not only shown the world that girls with ropey piercings and Misfits haircuts are hot, it’s that they can kick ass as well.

You know what’s going out of fashion like there’s no tomorrow? Renting DVDs from an actual physical store. In fact, it’s so out of fashion it’s retro. And retro is fashionable. HUZZAH! Check out the top 5 places to rent films in the UK and amp up your awesome points, asap…

Someone clear the decks for the 2014 Oscars, this is going to need a lot of room.