It’s that time of year again! The 13th Film 4 Frightfest is upon us, and promises all kinds of beautiful terror in its four day programme. From Geordie clown murderers to scalping Freud-botherers, from Cockney spade wavers to demonic mouth creepers – there’s certainly no way whatever sick lust you have can’t be satiated. But what should you start with? That’s where we step in…

Have you been known to use your bodacious bootay to get what you want? Do you often declare yourself to be ‘like a god’? Have you ever seen your dead father in the stars and done exactly what ‘he’ told you? Do you sleep a lot? Then this post is for you. You see, for decades now, the Walt Disney Corp. has secretly been presenting real psychological ailments as cutesy personality traits (read: disorders) that should not only be encouraged, but put to catchy tunes complete with a key change. But never fear, BFF is here; from your Stockholm Syndrome to drug dependency, we’ve got the answers FRANK just can’t give you.

JAMES, YOUR SUITS GET SO DUSTY THESE DAYS

Admittedly, we’re supposed to provide the answers rather than the questions…

RIP

These have been a bumper few days for you, film fans. Not only have we recently bestowed you with an incredibly detailed reason as to why The Mummy is one..

Back to deliver yet more gratuitous violence, outrageous plot twists and dreadful puns, Sylvester Stallone and his team have got another job, and this time they’re joined by Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Subtle nuances and character development there is not, but The Expendables 2 knows exactly what it is and it delivers. Sure, the lines are literally made of cheese, but what’s not to love about a bunch of good old fashioned action heroes doing what they do best?

In life we all go through battles. Battles ranging from the epic to the fairly mundane. If you stop and think about it though everyday there is some kind of..

Please don’t make us hate it John

It looks like The Expendables and Red might be getting another pensioner to join their ranks very soon as Robert Downey Jr’s body begins to fail him. The action star..