Put that Stallone-starring abomination from 1995 right out of your head – Director Pete Travis’ Dredd is a much more focused and faithful adaptation of science fiction comic 2000AD’s most famous and enduring strip, even if a lack of depth and some bland action stop it achieving greatness.

This gun-toting prohibition shoot-em-up has come under fire for lacking in substance. Substance?! What do you want here, it’s a gangster epic! It doesn’t need to have substance, it’s got guns! Guns! Knuckle-Dusters! Blood! Testicles in a jam jar! Sexy women! Waistcoats! Guns! Sure, it doesn’t break any boundaries, but it breaks plenty of bones. It’s got guns! Pass me tha’ there moonshine y’all.

They’re dull but THAT’S FINE.

Damn. Sorry, we mean mphghh.

“MPPFGHH!” – Bane’s annoyance at all this.

Picking up speed now, aren’t we? A week after prologue screenings began, team Nolan has decided that it’s time to unleash the full length trailer for The Dark Knight Rises . Now that we’ve had a chance to change our trousers, all that’s left to do is study it in intense, totally-not-obsessive-probably detail. Brethren: prepare thine eyes. The ending has begun.

*mfffghh mrffffgghh mmmfff BAR MAN*

SPOILERS

Doe-eyed actress to follow in Michelle Pfeiffer’s steps, but NOT Halle Berry’s. We don’t talk about that bloody film.

In 2012 Batman will return in The Dark Knight Rises, but with no Riddler, who the fudge will he be doing battle against?!