Oh dear, Danny. Got ourselves into a right pickle, haven’t we? The football factory actor has caused massive controversy in his Zoo “agony aunt” column by suggestive a heart-sick lad “cut his ex’s face, so that no-one will want her”.

… Yep, that’s right. It’s happening. And who’s at the helm? None other than Incredibles director Brad Bird. A good choice? We think so too.

Whew, they don’t mess around much do they? Mere weeks after the epic critical success of Kick-Ass, Matthew Vaughn has announced that he will officially be donning the director’s trousers for X-Men: First Class. And apparently taking the mantle of the X-Men series isn’t enough pressure, as the team are planning a next year release – next June, to be exact. Who needs time when you’ve got the legacy of Hit-Girl and Big Daddy to spur you onwards, eh?

It’s been a bestselling novel and a London stage hit. Now War Horse is set to run on the big screen, courtesy of an adaptation by mega-director Steven Spielberg.

After one weekend the A Nightmare on Elm Street remake has made more than $30 million, and, like an inevitable storm of inevitability, a sequel is already being planned in… yes, you guessed it… 3D.

Whether the news makes you want to rejoice or reach for the scotch, it looks like Anchorman 2 is becoming an unstoppable force – with most of the original cast ready to jump back aboard.

No, really. Paramount have managed to secure the rights to funny-man Cohen’s new project by giving him two goats; one delivered to his LA home, and one to his Beverly Hills offices.

So, in the US, Avatar has broken records for the fastest selling DVD of all time, selling 6.7 million DVD and Blu-Rays in its opening four days. It snatches the record away from The Dark Knight, which previously held it with which sold 2.7 million on its opening day, 500,000 copies shy of Avatar’s 3.2 million.

Though we’ve known Will Smith has been up for Men in Black 3 for a while now, we can confirm that our favourite crinkly-faced alien blaster Tommy Lee Jones is also on board. It just wouldn’t have been the same without him.

According to the US box office Dreamworks’ How To Train Your Dragon still has plenty of bite, as it’s nabbed the top spot with $20 million this weekend. Just below that – and to our disappointment – Kick-Ass’s opening weekend has been rather lack-luster, cashing in just $19.75 million, despite brilliant reviews across the board and the promise of a 11year old assassin. Seriously, what more can film-goers want?