New trailer for The Host is proof that only Twilight fans will enjoy it.

Staked and sizzling, Twilight is dead at last.

Surrounded by two hunky potential lovers? Better take a prophylactic course of antibiotics, Saoirse Ronan…

The déjà vu is strong with this one.

I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know something about vampires I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know please please make it stop why why why why why why I don’t know I don’t know CGI devil baby no no no no no no no werewolves why why why oh god make it stop.

Edward Cullen is rolling in his not grave right now.

Sparkly aliens this time!

OH JUST GIVE UP

No vampires or werewolves, but girl-on-girl fighting and lots of angst. Guess who?

First R-Patz, now this. Dammit, Stephenie Meyer, leave our actors alone!