What a set of lungs, young lady.

With hard-hitting sex-addict drama Shame hitting our screens to the applause of critics everywhere, it’s no wonder we’ve got the two-backed monster on our minds. From Carey Mulligan’s unexpected nudity (forget the sad eyes!) and Fassbender’s humongous ‘fassbender’, it was pretty sexy. So sexy. But also horribly horribly unsexy. And so, to celebrate all things gross and disturbing in the bedroom, we’ve decided to count down the top 10 least sexy sex scenes ever…

Is it just us, or is Peter Sarsgaard in ALL THE MOVIES at the moment?

Not as Lincoln, obviously, as someone scary.

Well, kind of.

Dracula vs Octopus: the movie?

Do you think Zack Snyder is a visual pioneer or just a big kid who likes a good fight? Whatever your opinions are it doesn’t matter! Because we have two highly stubborn gits to fight it out and sort out this Zack Snyder issue once and for all.

The normally quite arty Todd Field is changing gear for his next film, a thriller set on the Mexican border in 1910.

The cult of Burton lures another willing victim…

Along with Helena Bonham Carter. Quelle surprise, Frenchie – maybe if you actually lived with Tim Burton (you know, your HUSBAND) then he wouldn’t feel the need to cast you in every film he makes just to spend some quality time?