It’s lunchtime, and I’m eating a rather disappointing BLT with a lukewarm can of G&T on one of SouthWest Trains’ longer and more bumpy routes through deepest darkest Hampshire while the sun beams down outside. Frankly, this article title was designed to incite jealousy and – although Hollywood is overflowing with unforgettable onscreen dishes – many of the meals on this list are horrendous, if only to help my mental wellbeing. Bon appétit!

Extra! Extra! Hollywood continues to be full of beautiful men doing things!

People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of remakes. Welcome to that land

Acclaimed Korean director Park Chan-wook presents his American debut; a fairytale with a gothic twist. The story of a teenage girl’s sexual awakening could not be more beautifully shot or stylishly presented. Part horror, part psychological thriller and part coming-of-age drama, Stoker is full of surprises.

And they’ve got us wanting to see more!

London’s seventh annual Korean Film Festival is in full swing! Running until November 11th, it’s a rare showcase of popular Korean filmmaking, offering an insight into a culture as in love with pop music, fashion and Hollywood as our own. Bringing over the cream of a remarkably strong national cinema, the KFF continues to expose audiences to a fascinating dichotomy of the alien and familiar, as all the tried and true tropes of genre cinema are played out in a foreign language.

We’re pretty STOKED for this one! HAH! No, but seriously, we actually are.

Admittedly, we’re supposed to provide the answers rather than the questions…

Muscular, mean, nightmarish and brutal, The Raid delivers an unyielding onslaught of exquisitely choreographed violence, reminding us all that the thick, brawny shoot-em ups we’re used to associating with the action genre wouldn’t last a minute up against Indonesia’s glistening finest. With shades of Oldboy, Ong Bak, Reservoir Dogs and more dripping from every blood-drenched sinew, this is endurance-entertainment that isn’t afraid to push its actors and audience until its final, skull-cracking moments. Best of luck.

BAH