The first image has been released of Lars Von Trier’s explicit sex film, Nymphomaniac and it looks bleak.

Another win for gender equality in 2013.

Overload on the Trans4mers news, pretend you care

Fresh meat for Michael Bay.

Rumours of French Revolution-set installment quashed.

Finally deciding that he’s finished with the whole ‘integrity’ thing, Mark Wahlberg sells his soul to Michael Bay

And the world turns

Presumably, after years of working with Bay, they’re pursuing more intellectual projects.

A film in which most of the cast get to have sex with each other. Must have been a hard sell.

It’s happening again! A new cadre of reinforcements have arrived at Best For Film Towers, kit gleaming with polish and pen nibs glinting in the autumn sunshine. Can anyone remember why the OWLs got so terribly militaristic? Anyway, they’re here and so are you and maybe you want to read what they think about this week’s releases? Go on.