IM… HO… LEN!

Presumably his raging antisemitism won’t be a major aspect.

What’s your favourite Len Wiseman movie? Before you do yourself an injury trying to weigh the cons and cons of Underworld and Die Hard 4, let me put you out of your misery: as of August 29th, 2012, the answer will be Total Recall. Heck, it might even be your film of the summer. And believe me, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

Very nice, Martin McDonagh, very nice

Cats the world over breathe a sigh of relief as Curiosity lands on Mars. What will the NASA rover tell us? What will it find? Dust? Martians? The tattered remains of John Carpenter’s dignity? We humans had a real thing for the fourth rock from the Sun in the late 90s, ushering in a host of dreadful films about Mars whose Wikipedia blurbs end with ‘a critical and commercial failure’.

Money. So much money. All the money.

Cast list continues to grow for Disney’s biopic about the author of Mary Poppins

“You’re gonna wish you had three hands…”

Despite the big names on screen and behind the camera, Cosmopolis is the most niche film of 2012; emotionally frigid, wilfully obtuse and very, very talky. But it’s a delicacy, not a feast, and catching it in the right mood could leave you with one of the year’s more rewarding cinema experiences.

It’s been a hell of a week for cinema, hasn’t it? Hasn’t it? What do you mean, you don’t know? Are you telling us that you haven’t been glued to the Best For Film Twitter account all week, breathlessly drinking in every word of Hollywood news as we churned it out? You little bitch. Get in here and catch up or we’ll spank you.