So you’re drunk. You had one too many at Pizza Express or wherever, and now you’re in the cinema, and you are drunk. And you have FEELINGS. About this film. That you are watching. You may or may not swear at the screen, but whatever you say (you don’t remember in the morning) it is loud. You are swiftly removed from the cinema, and never permitted to return. Dark times. Enter Movie Interruption Screenings.
This sounds Glucking good! …we’ll show ourselves out.
So it looks like they’re making a LEGO film. And by “they” we mean the crazy people in Hollywood who want all the money but their brains don’t work any more because they replaced their brains with sushi and velvet yachts and cynicism so they think money can come from a film about inanimate bricks. WHAT COULD THIS FILM POSSIBLY BE ABOUT?!?! Luckily for you, Hollywood fat cats, BFF have compiled a list of LEGO-inspired films to make the process a bit easier for you. Enjoy!
In Time is any studio exec’s dream. High-concept but easily simplified sci-fi, PLUS a distinctly un-futuristic set with just one really memorable visual tag which can be dragged out for all the posters, PLUS a plot point which means you can literally cast Olivia Wilde as Justin Timberlake’s mum? Gold, all of it. And the amazing thing is, In Time could have had all these and still been good. Unfortunately, twelve thousand temporal puns do not a watchable film make.
HELLO sudden credibility!
Meg Ryan/Julia Roberts/her from Grey’s Anatomy and their earnest search for romance is looking even less fashionable then ever, and Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake completely agree. Ignoring Love and Other Drugs in their hurry to take off all their clothes, our two lust-birds instead opt for some No Strings Attached sex in this, Will Gluck’s latest fast-talking comedy. While you’ve undoubtedly seen Friends With Benefits before, it is nevertheless well worth the ever-present sense of deja vu.
Except this whole story rests on a false dichotomy. Doesn’t it, The Internet?